How do I get my friends to write thank you notes?
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I have been part of the bridal party for two of my close friends. To my horror these women (and their new spouses) have not yet written thank you notes. One has been married for 10 months and the other for nearly 6. At the showers the girls and I helped keep track of who gave what and each girl has a large box of stationery specifically for this purpose. Is there a gentle way to get them to thank their guests? Several people have made comments to me and the rest of the party saying that they are concerned that the gifts were not received or that they are surprised at the lack of manners.
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12 Responses to “How do I get my friends to write thank you notes?”
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you could call and offer to help them with their thank you notes. And if they refuse you are done. If they say "oh I have a year" politely inform them that they are mistaken and it is the guest who has a year and it is the bride’s duty to send thank you notes as soon as possible
Yikes, that’s awful. Mention to the ladies that people have been asking about the gifts, etc. I just cannot fathom how some people can be so preoccupied or self-involved that they cannot write thank-yous. Maybe offer to help one afternoon and get them done (if are willing).
Yes just ask them if they ever got around to the notes that some of the guest have ask you and you thought maybe they forgot or missed that person ( don’t say names ) if they say no then ask them if they need help doing it that it is important to you because you were the one who gave the parties and it is making you have to answer your other friends when it isn’t fair to you if they are true friends they should understand this. Or ask them if they have any thank you notes left over that you think they missed someone
That does show a lack of manners. Maybe since it has been so long on both parts they have lost the lists of who gave what. find out and if that is the case general thank you notes will have to be made such as "thank you so much for attending the celebration of our love. Your gift meant alot to us as does your friendship. Know that we appreciate your friendship. Sincerly ….." After 10 and 6 months an added "so sorry that we took so long to get back to you but married life is much more hectect than we anticipated." some form of an apology is needed. Tell your friend. Use my words if ya like but your friends are going to be snubbed on thier anniversary if they don’t rectify what they are doing and tell them so.
Maybe you should just like bring it up in a conversation. Like find out where they keep the stationery stuff, and act like you accidentally find it or something, then be like, "hey, did you not ever send out thank you notes?" When she says no, just be like, "oh my gosh!" but laugh about it and be like, "you were supposed to do that forever ago! No wonder people have been asking me if you recieved their gifts. I would get on that if I were you"…just laugh about it but make sure they get how important it is.
hope that helped…good luck
You can find a time when the situation is pretty neutral and explain the situation to them. Tell them that the "12 months" rule is complete BS; gifts should be acknowledged with a thank-you as soon as possible, and they must be handwritten and mailed by the bride or groom, NOT emailed. Explain that she may not realize it because they are too polite to say so, but she is busy permanently offending a lot of dear friends and family. She is creating ill will that will not fade with time.
If she still doesn’t get around to it and other people still ask you about it, shrug and say, ‘If I were you I would ask HER that." This is neither your responsibility or your fault. Let her deal with the static. Why should you?
Not thanking people for wedding gifts is just the height of rudeness.
It’s rude to not send a thank you, I agree. But I also feel it’s just as unacceptable to insist on one.
Sounds like you have done plenty to remind them of their (not just hers but his too) obligations. Mention it to their husbands maybe they are more thankful than their wives. You have worked hard to help. Next time a gift giver asks about a gift they gave just tell them you didn’t realize how inconsiderate your friends were. Next time they need help don’t. Show these answer to them.
tell the person it would be of good morals anmd judgement to follow through with the thank you notes
Why not have a little informal thank you card writing party. Perhaps that will motivate them.
cant make ppl do something they dont want to do. if you and the other girls are that worried about it then send them out yourselves on there behalf.
Offer to help.